Are you concerned about your behaviour?

There are a number of ways in which people hurt those around them and it is useful to recognise if these are behaviours you may be carrying out.

If you have found yourself behaving in any of the following ways below towards a current or ex-partner, please consider contacting us for more information on how we can help.

Examples of Emotional Abuse:

  • Calling your partner names
  • Shouting at them
  • Smashing things
  • Criticising them
  • Making threats to harm them or yourself
  • Making threats of any kind
  • Checking up on them (emails, texts, phone, Facebook)
  • Driving recklessly in order to scare them
  • Finding fault with their parenting
  • Isolating them from their friends and/or family

Examples of Physical Abuse:

  • Punching
  • Hitting
  • Pushing
  • Kicking
  • Choking
  • Stopping them leaving
  • Using weapons against them

Examples of Sexual Abuse:

  • Pressuring them to have sex or take part in sexual activities that they’re not comfortable with
  • Sulking if you can’t have sex
  • Touching them or taking explicit pictures of them without their consent
  • Making them watch pornography

Examples of Financial Abuse:

  • Withholding money
  • Making financial decisions without consulting them
  • Restricting the money they spend
  • Making them account for every penny

Examples of Post-Separation Abuse:

  • Stalking, harassing by text/email/Facebook
  • Waiting in places you know they’ll be
  • Ignoring requests to leave them alone
  • Unreliable about child contact
  • Withholding child support

Do you recognise any of this behaviour?

You might find yourself feeling defensive. You might say "they wind me up" or "I lost control, I'm not a violent person". You may find yourself making excuses such as "I had a difficult childhood" or "I'd had a bad day at work".

We believe that all behaviour is a choice and you can make different choices. Would you treat your colleagues in the same way you treat your partner? Would you act the same way in public as you do in private?

Do you want to get help?

It is important to remember that changing abusive behaviour is always a positive step to take. Don't feel it's ever too early or too late to decide to change these patterns If you recognise any of this behaviour and would like to make positive changes in your life, we want to work with you. Click here to learn more about how we can help.

If you want to talk to someone right now about your behaviour you can always call the Respect Phoneline on 0808 8024040. It is free from most landlines and mobile phones. An advisor will be there to listen and help. More details are on their website.

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