What behaviours do we work with?

Learn more about what domestic abuse is, and how we can help

All relationships have their ups and downs, but they should never be harmful. 

Domestic abuse is behaviour in an intimate or family relationship which is controlling, coercive, violent, or threatening.   

There are a number of ways in which you may be hurting those around you and it’s important to think about whether you find yourself doing any of these things. 

Examples of abuse

Do you recognise any of the following?

  • Calling your partner names 
  • Shouting at them 
  • Criticising them
  • Making threats to harm them or yourself 
  • Making threats of any kind 
  • Checking up on them (emails, texts, phone, Facebook) 
  • Driving recklessly to scare them 
  • Finding fault with their parenting 
  • Isolating them from their friends and/or family 
  • Punching 
  • Hitting 
  • Pushing 
  • Kicking 
  • Choking 
  • Stopping them leaving 
  • Using weapons against them 
  • Smashing things 
  • Pressuring them to have sex or take part in sexual activities  
  • Sulking if you can’t have sex 
  • Touching them or taking explicit pictures of them without their consent 
  • Making them watch pornography
  • Withholding money 
  • Making financial decisions without consulting them 
  • Restricting the money they spend 
  • Making them account for every penny
     
  • Stalking, harassing by text/email/Facebook 
  • Waiting in places you know they’ll be 
  • Ignoring requests to leave them alone 
  • Unreliable about child contact 
  • Withholding child support 

If you recognise any of this behaviour, you might find yourself feeling defensive.

You might say “they wind me up” or “I lost control, I’m not a violent person”.

You also may feel yourself making excuses like “I’d had a bad day”. 

 

But – all behaviour is a choice and you can make different choices.
It’s never too early to change.

What can I do next?

If you recognise any of this behaviour and want to make changes in your life, we want to work with you.

Women's Programme

Support for women who want to change their behaviour. LGBTQ+ inclusive

Individual Support

Behaviour change support for men who identify as LGBTQ+ or speak English as a second language